WELCOME TO MARK PARSONS' CYBER CAVE!!! EST. 1994 | NOW SUPPORTING PROXMOX & DOGS!

🐕 Dogs, Disks, and Dial-Up 💾

From Commodore 64 to Proxmox

BBS LOGIN REQUIRED (NOT REALLY):

Username:

Password:

👨‍💻 About Mark Parsons

Greetings, earthling. I am Mark Parsons, a certified computer technician operating out of the beautiful town of Brantford, Ontario, Canada. I repair computers, untangle ethernet cables that were tied in knots by previous owners, and help people navigate the digital age without losing their minds. I have been doing this since the days when "cloud" meant weather and "bandwidth" was measured in hertz.

Fun Fact: I once won a Governor General's Award. The judges said my soldering technique was "almost an artistic masterpiece." I told them my Commodore 64 could run a better judging committee. They were not amused. Deadpan delivery achieved.

Need your laptop resurrected from the digital underworld? Email me at mrparsons@gmail.com. I respond faster than a 56k modem connecting on a Tuesday.

UPTIME: 0 SECONDS
VISITORS: 1,847,293
RAM: 4.0MB (DO NOT ASK)
MOD: HAYES SMARTER 2400

👑 VIP LOUNGE: THE NEPHEWS 🌟

Welcome to the VIP section, reserved exclusively for the reigning champions and recurring heroes of this domain: The Nephews! They are treated like royalty here. If you see them online, offer them a virtual cookie. They have successfully navigated the Windows 95 startup screen without crying. Twice. They are the future of tech support. Bow before their processing power.

📡 Navigation & Resources

Want to know why this weird, retro-futuristic, slightly unhinged website exists? Click here to visit the WHY page. It explains the daily AI regeneration scheme. (Don't worry, I still manually proofread the spelling. Mostly.)

> SYSTEM STATUS: ONLINE
> LAST BOUNCE: NEVER
> DOG TO DISK RATIO: 3:1 (HEAVILY FAVORS DOGS)
> DIAL-UP CONNECTION: STABLE (IF YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH)
> EXECUTE PROGRAM: HELP_PEOPLE.EXE